I took myself on a mini solo adventure for the first time yesterday. I mentioned in my first post that I feel like I don’t use my free will enough. I’m often waiting for someone, or something, to give me permission to do the things I want to do. So, in an attempt to make better use of my free will, I took the day off and took a mini-road trip to San Diego to spend the day there by myself.
This was the first time I did something like this, so the day before, I was a little nervous. Would I look weird being out on my own? Would I be safe? Would I be bored and want to turn around and go home? I left my what-ifs at the door and decided that I just needed to find a place in the city, and that the rest would work out on its own.
A play-by-play of the day
My first stop was Communal Coffee. The vibes were super cute (just what I was looking for), and I ordered the lavender honey latte. I used my time in the coffee shop to start planning my day. After I finished my latte, my anxiety crept in, and I suddenly became extremely aware that I was on my own. It felt weird knowing that I wouldn’t have anything or anyone to distract me from my own company.
To distract myself from my thoughts, I looked up museums and opted to head to Balboa Park and visit the San Diego Museum of Art. I browsed the exhibits for a little over an hour and even discovered a new artist that I liked. After leaving the museum, it finally felt like I had found my footing for the day. My anxiety was gone, and I was able to wander around Balboa Park and enjoy the sun and my solitude. That didn’t last much longer, though, because my stomach quickly let me know that I was HUNGRY.
I wanted some fresh food, so I stopped by Ironside Fish and Oyster and enjoyed a glass of wine, oysters, and a lobster roll. 10/10 solo dinner with cute outdoor vibes to match. It felt so good to be on my own schedule and doing what I wanted to do. After finishing my late lunch/early dinner, I headed to the Sunset Cliffs. I found the perfect spot to read and enjoy the sunset solo and then headed home.
What I learned from my first mini solo trip
Honestly, this day was just what I needed. The stress of work, life, and adulthood in general had me feeling stagnant. I feel like this solo trip brought the spark back to my routine that I was looking for, and trust, there will be many more in the future. But…(there’s always a but), although my mini-solo trip did rejuvenate me, I think a part of it did highlight the fact that I am alone. Yes, I have community, but in a lot of aspects of my life, I have to resort to doing things solo.
We’re all obviously alone in life and only have ourselves in the end, but I’m in a stage of life where most of my circle is settling down, getting married, or starting families, and I’m just not there yet. I know, I know. A romantic relationship won’t solve all of my problems, but it would make certain lulls in my life feel less lonely.
I think two things can be true at once. Solo days can be rejuvenating and mandatory to refresh our sense of self, but they can also put a spotlight on the desire for companionship if it’s something you’ve been missing. I have a lot of thoughts on being single in my 30s and everything I’ve learned from it, but I’ll save that for another day and another blog post.
The edit: The only advice (or edit) I have for myself and anyone else who might be experiencing the same thing is to not dwell too much on being single and to enjoy doing things solo. Use this time to make the most of solitude. Don’t wait for anyone to start living the life you want to live and doing the things you want to do. At the end of the day, the only person you’re waiting on is you.
the imara edit 
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